Ok so what a week this is becoming . . .

Well I got to talk with the love of my life last night! Katie I love and miss you!

Tonight I started my first blocking rehearsal with Dr. Paul and he is one entertaining man to work with. Not only is he spitting out jokes left and right he is super anal about his blocking and where you are suppose to be. So you end up taking very very specific blocking notes and just pray that you write the right thing cause you will be stopped and asked to do it over again. But overall it is very fun and Dr. Paul is very entertaining!

Boys are Boys and they are dumb! and I can say that because I am one thank you! But they are just driving me crazy one in particular who seems to be avoiding telling me what he really wants to say . . . and I wish that he just would cause I can take what he needs to tell me. It doesn't matter what happens between us . . . whether we just stay friends . . . take it to the next level or . . . just stay as we are . . . we just need to be on the same page and it is frustrating when he says that he needs to discuss it face to face and he then avoids it all together. So it is just getting annoying, but I can't focus too much on that cause there are so many other things going on that need my attention so I am just going to put that on the back burner . . .

Work is ok . . . I have to go back to hosting for a little while. I am fully understanding of the reason why and it is completely out of my control, and besides it is super easy and less stressful!

Then there are auditions this Friday for West Side Story and I am totally freaking out about them! I mean I feel prepared and such, but I just hate auditions in general . . . and wish I could just skip over them . . . uggh! I just feel like people are expecting so much out of me and I don't know if I can meet their expectations . . . so I am just stressed and wish I could just see the potential in me that everyone else sees . . . I guess I am just too hard on myself, but I don't know how to be any other way. Let's just say I got yelled at from my voice teacher today for freaking out so much . . . she told me that all I can do is my best and the rest is out of my control. I know and understand that, but it is still freaky to have that happen . . . I mean you all know me . . . I HATE being out of control in a situation . . . oh well I am just going to do my best and take some deep breaths and remain calm.

Wow I am just a little emo tonight . . . sorry, but that is what these are for! And this is a lot longer than I thought it would be . . . oh well . . . I am over it!